Marriage And SCI: Making It Through Life's Storms

Whitney Bailey
Content via Steadfast In Trial
Steadfast In Trial
Whitney Bailey

“Sometimes the strength of a marriage is tested in the midst of life’s worst storms,” says Steve Derwent, a quadriplegic. He recalls a trying time in his life where he relied on the strength of his marriage and his faith to make it through.

Ocean horizon sunset

Steve had an infected skin ulcer and states he knew the reality of his situation. “Meanwhile, I was fighting thoughts that this just might be the end. That may sound overly dramatic or silly to some of you, but I know the reality of the situation. Infected skin ulcers are one of the most fatal secondary conditions for people living with spinal cord injuries (see Christopher Reeve). I immediately went to thoughts of ‘plan for the worst, hope for the best’,” he says.

During the days it took for the doctors to decide a plan of action Steve states he was awestruck by his prayers being answered and the foundational strength of his marriage. The infection was clearing up on its own, and Steve got to go home to his wife.

“Getting to go home is great segue to the strength of the relationship I have with LeeAnn.”

Steve says the fact that he and his wife were united in his battle to go home might not have happened if they were not already on the same page with other matters. “We stand in agreement with our finances, giving every dollar an assignment on paper every month. And, we work together to ensure that we are in agreement before committing to parenting decisions that may impact the household,” he says. The couple also shares a strong foundation in their faith.

“This foundation gives us a lot of practice rowing the boat in the same direction. By doing these things every day it makes it seem like second nature to work together through stressful situations, like a hospital stay and time out of work.”

Steve concludes his post by challenging others to take a good look at their own relationships. He believes a focus on serving others is a start to building a strong foundation. He says, “Selflessly working together in mundane daily life makes it a lot easier to be unified when the rain comes.”

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