To Disclose or Not: Online Dating Advice for Wheelchair Users

a woman smiling
Curated by
Kristen Sachs
Content via In The News
In The News
Curated by
Kristen Sachs

Dating Coach Neely Steinberg has had her share of answering challenging questions about her readers’ love lives. But she recently received a dating question that left her stumped.

A woman who is a wheelchair user wrote to Neely asking whether or not she should disclose her disability in her online profile. She’s chosen not to provide this information up front in the past for fear of being contacted by a devotee (someone with a disability fetish). But once she gets into conversations with people who show interest, that interest fades as soon as she mentions the fact that she uses a wheelchair.


cell phone with an online dating app on the screen

"I’m wondering if you think I should be upfront on my profile by mentioning my disability and if there is other advice you think I should consider?"

Neely openly admits, “When I received this email, I wasn’t quite sure what to say.” While Neely has a lot of dating experience, she doesn’t have a disability, and isn’t able to completely empathize with the woman seeking advice. Neely also says that she typically never advises that anyone lie or withhold information from a dating profile; however, “having never been in this woman’s shoes, it’s difficult for me to respond with such a simple answer.”

“She has it tougher than many daters out there, but I have no doubt there’s a diamond in the rough waiting for her to bring light into his life,” writes Neely. And hopefully she’s right. Still, the woman’s question remains unanswered.

What would you advise? Do you have experience with online dating? Did you disclose your disability right away or save it for a later conversation? Maybe you’ve tried both approaches. Which one worked out better? Share your advice with us and share this post so others can weigh in on the topic!

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