Cole and Charisma are in an “interabled” relationship. They have gained popularity over social media by sharing their lives with the world on their YouTube channel, Roll With Cole and Charisma. Cole is a quadriplegic who relies on a caregiver for his daily living tasks. Charisma recently became Cole’s full time caregiver. The couple says one question that is always asked is “will caregiving ruin the relationship?” Cole and Charisma discuss the topic of caregiving in the video below.
“Most all relationships are going to deal with caregiving at some point in their lives.”
“Caregiving in relationships, especially in an interabled relationship like ours, can be a sticky point for a lot of couples and can lead to strife and added challenges and strain,” says Cole. He and Charisma discuss the added challenges of being in an “interabled” relationship and how they deal with them.
Cole and Charisma do not have a hired caregiver to help with Cole’s needs. The couple states that it is difficult to find someone who is component and will do the job well. It’s also hard for them to find a caregiver that is reliable and that will stick around because of caregiver burnout and rate of pay. “The pay isn’t so great that makes (caregiving) worth it,” says Cole, “It’s hard to find someone who will accept pay at that level for that kind of work.” He states that many people end up having to subsidize pay for caregivers just to make it worth it for them.
Cole and Charisma discuss how it is important to have a support system to give the person providing care if needed. Cole and Charisma have a great support system in place that consists of both of their parents if it is needed for whatever reason. “We have a lot of people there for us, and if we ever feel like caregiving is getting in the middle of our relationship then we know who to reach out to,” says Charisma.
Don’t Make Caregiving A Chore
Lastly, Cole and Charisma emphasize to not make caregiving a chore (because this can lead to caregiver burnout.) Have fun with it. Cole and Charisma have plenty of videos where they show the fun side of caregiving.
Cole concludes, “Caregiving is something that we consider deeply into our relationship and we make sure that above all else our love is number one priority."
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