Doug is married to Tasha, a quadriplegic and motivational speaker, and when Tasha shared her perspectives on sex after her spinal cord injury, she also wanted her husband to weigh in on the topic.
“I want to support my wife in offering information to allow for more understanding on this important subject. It’s through information that we can address the misconceptions and a lack of understanding out there.”
Exploring intimacy with his wife
“Sex – or making love as I prefer to phrase it – was never an aspect of our relationship that I worried about,” he shares. “I knew that if we had a great friendship to begin with, then physical intimacy would follow.” Doug and Tasha spent time getting to know each other through phone conversations and dates before moving their relationship further. “During those months we were building a wonderful friendship and a solid foundation,” he shares. “We talked about everything from work to children to money, and everything in between.”
He credits their ability to have a satisfying and healthy sex life to being so deeply committed and connected to each other.
“Sex is like the frosting that goes on after the scrumptious cake is cooled and ready. It makes an already delicious cake outstanding. That is what sexual intimacy did for us; we took an already solid foundation and added the frosting!”
An emotional connection before a physical one
Doug and Tasha wanted the solid emotional foundation and friendship before they build their physical, intimate relationship, which worked for them. “We naturally have so much fun together as a couple that it just carries over into the physical aspects of our marriage,” he shares. In writing about this experience, disability is rarely mentioned as it had no negative impact on Doug and Tasha’s ability to have a satisfying relationship. “I’m hoping that this helps to set the record straight for those curious or doubting whether our needs in that arena can be met,” he shares. “Believe me, both of us are quite happy and fulfilled!”
Doug and Tasha share this side of their relationship to erase any doubt that Tasha, or any woman with a disability for that matter, could be a suitable partner and a participant in a sexual relationship.
“Tasha is a woman just like any other woman. The only difference is she doesn’t have feeling in certain parts of her body. It doesn’t mean she is without those parts.”
While Doug and Tasha like to keep the details of their personal lives private, Doug’s story educates others to abolish assumptions that cast Tasha or women in her situation in a negative or inhuman light. All healthy relationships require communication. When sexual activity is involved, it’s even more important to have those doors open and to understand how to work with another person’s body, whether or not a disability is involved.
Her doting husband has one final statement for the doubters: “Tasha is a stunning wife and our marriage is awesome in every way – mental, emotional, spiritual, and yes, physical!” Take it from Doug and Tasha, building a healthy physical relationship starts with communication!
Share this post to educate people who might assume a disability creates barriers for physical intimacy.