"Hello! My name is Aaron. I was wondering if you would be interested in talking?"
When contacting someone for the first time on a dating site, I usually send a simple message like that. That way if they aren’t interested, neither side is really wasting their time. I’m not that great with numbers, especially when it comes rejection, but I would say 90% to 95% of those messages go ignored. But that’s OK! Believe me. Read on!
Even those who are not dealing with a disability are unlucky on dating websites. It’s just extra challenging for those of us who do. Not to mention - it’s just not meant for everyone.
If you’re someone who does want to try this avenue despite the almost certainty of rejection like myself, here are four dating tips from my experiences that I can share.
- Be honest. This is the absolute most important thing. Hopefully that goes without saying, but you never know! When writing your profile you should definitely not hide the fact that you’re disabled in some capacity. At the same time, they do not need to know your life story right off the bat. I state in my profile that I was in an accident which has left me a quadriplegic. I also make sure that my pictures clearly show not only me, but also my wheelchair. If that turns someone off and it keeps them from getting to know me as a person, I’m better off single!
- Date someone that makes sense. I met someone and we developed pretty strong feelings for each other rather quickly. It was great! There were a few things I should have been more concerned with at first, but I was in full-blown “ignoring common sense because I’m crazy about this person and nobody could tell me anything” mode. It’s a great feeling, but it can put you in a stupor! She lived just 5 minutes across the Pennsylvania border in Maryland, about an hour away from my house, but it was still too far away. Especially considering she was the only one who drove. She also has two great kids, but they couldn’t come along every time. Between the distance, finding someone to watch the kids from time to time among a few other things, we should have known from the beginning that it was not going to be a good fit.
- Be careful! If you’re contacted by someone, be careful. Unfortunately there are extremely sick and disgusting people out there who are attracted to people strictly because of their disability. They are known as “devotees”. Make sure you do some investigating and protect yourself before you let just anyone into your personal life. I’ve only run into this one time, but be vigilant!
- Finally, have fun! There are plenty of success stories out there! I even had one. I met an incredible woman and we ended up getting married! Ultimately it did not work out but I’m so thankful for the experience, having had gained a wife, stepson and so many good memories. So, Keep your heads up! You may just be the next big success story!
Thanks to Aaron Wood for sharing invaluable advice for online dating with a disability.
Share this post with anyone getting ready to dive into online dating!