Maria has captured the experience of being a pregnant woman and new mom with a disability in graceful poetic form. Her words explore the emotions all expectant moms feel and also provide the audience a glimpse of her own unique perspective.
The Miracle of Life
Being pregnant was
the happiest time of my life
(both times).
Finally,
my body was doing something
it was supposed to do –
something
I had been forced to believe
would never happen...
something
“normal.”
Pregnancy was
the most intimate love experience
of my life,
because there was another life
within my own.
Love doesn’t get
any more sacred or more beautiful than that.
I loved and cherished every minute of it,
and loved to watch my belly grow –
sometimes, it felt like, overnight –
when I could feel a twist, a kick...
a punch.
Boys will be boys,
even in the womb.
I should have known,
since I’ve always wished for sons
and wishes do come true.
Being pregnant was miraculous
in the physical form,
but for me, it was also about inclusion –
the chance to share a life experience
with able-bodied women,
because my body
was doing something
their bodies did.
My crippled body
could also bear life.
Yes, crippled women
can also have babies!
And by the way, that also means
we have sex,
and chances are, we do other things,
like cooking and cleaning
and all the mundane routines
that fill the lives of walking women.
Being pregnant gave me the chance
to share stories like that ... stories
of normality.
Pregnancy was my proof of life
as an average woman,
doing what women are known to do...
you know,
spit miracles out of our womb
and go back to work
as if nothing
happened.
Equality
is a double-edged sword.
People would take my word when I said
that I could do anything they can
but forget that to do that, I still need
the ramp, the wide entrance,
the parking spot,
the accessible transportation,
the apartment on the first floor,
the specially designed crib,
and every other invented thing
we ingeniously put together
in order to make things happen
as disabled parents
in an able-bodied world.
Looking back, I realize
I was not like other women.
I was not like other moms.
They could get lost in the crowd
after their babies are born,
while no matter how normal I wanted to feel,
I would always stand out.
And after the baby was born,
ableist questions went from, “How did you do it?”
to “How could you do it?” “How irresponsible
to bring a baby into this world –
a baby you cannot care for!”
I knew the magic of pregnancy goes away,
but I never expected ignorance
to hit me that way.
I held my babies in my arms
the minute I woke up
when the nurse brought them to me.
And I don’t care
what others may believe
about disabled moms:
The one thing I know for sure
is that seeing those babies
who had existed in my body
for nine months ...
was the most beautiful miracle
of my life.
Love at first sight.
There is nothing more normal
than a mother’s love.
Thank you to Maria Palacios for sharing her poetry with AbleThrive. Maria is a poet, author, spoken word performer, public speaker, professional presenter and workshop facilitator, polio survivor and disability rights activist, and a mother of two. Her work is spirited by her own woman experience and embraces and promotes self-acceptance, empowerment, and social justice surrounding people with disabilities, gender and sexuality, teen girls and women, and a wide spectrum of issues as they relate to diversity. Her hopeful message of pride is consistent throughout her raw and often sensual work. Known in the artistic world as The Goddess on Wheels, her multicultural background and passion for onstage performance have come to life through numerous events over the years.
