As a disability advocate, peer mentor, leader of a women’s ministry, and most of all, a mother with disability, Alicia Reagan has seen, heard, and experienced first-hand the struggles of motherhood. Alicia has transverse myelitis, and with the work she has done for her family and for women and mothers in her community, she has found the secret ingredient for motherhood: being a mother of today.
Embracing each day with your kids
Alicia recognizes that everyone has bad days, “things in our lives that mess up our ‘mom moments.’” Yet, children feed off your energy, and if you dwell on being angry or upset, “you have taken them with you into that moment.” Knowing that, Alicia chooses to put her children’s happiness first.
No doubt, Alicia has her fair share of bad days herself. And as a mother of 6 children, Alicia is constantly called to play with them. Hence, in times like these, she asks herself what kind of day she wants to create for her children. She can choose to create a rough day for them, just like what she’s experiencing, or she can choose to keep their day good. Her decision is often the latter, knowing that not only is it beneficial for her children, but for her, too, because keeping her children happy helps her keep her spirits up.
Alicia has also observed mothers who often wished for a happier past or future. Mothers with older children reminisce their children’s happier childhood times, wondering if their children have outgrown needing their mothers. “Make a memory today,” is Alicia’s advice. “That same little boy is in there and he needs to be cherished.”
Alicia has heard from mothers with disabilities who believe that they are not good mothers, and are unable to be one, unless they are “healed.” To that, Alicia says: “Hogwash!”
Alicia admits that she entertains those thoughts at times as well, but she recognizes that the only moment mothers should focus on is the present. Children need their mothers to be good mothers today. “They just need to know that I am just as committed to loving them today as I did in my yesterday’s,” she says.
No good comes from dwelling on the past, or wishing for a better future. Instead, being the mother of today is the best gift a mother can offer her children. Children, regardless of how old they are, need “a mom of today.”
Do you know any mother who frets over the needs of her children? Share this post with her to encourage her to be a mother of today!