“My passion is simple, live life. Maximize and do whatever that you can with whatever limited abilities that you have.”
Kelvin a paraplegic from Singapore is married with a beautiful son. He has also been driving for 16 years but Kelvin’s independence didn’t just happen overnight. It took him awhile to overcome his emotional and physical challenges but he chooses to remain positive. “Anybody who sees a guy on a wheelchair would think that a drain without a cover is an obstacle,” Kelvin explains, “But no…it’s just in the head. Any drain or opening is smaller than the diameter of these big wheels…I will be able to cross it.”
It is easier to deal with physical challenges compared to emotional and mental challenges. Wheelchair users require help, and frustration and anger might build up. “That’s not because the person has got temper or has bad character, but because he is frustrated,” says Kelvin.
“The emotional and mental thinking is a lifelong thing. There’s no such thing as overcoming it…you have to continue to learn how to control yourself. Learn how to manage all your emotions.”
Take baby steps in learning to accept your situation and understand that it’s ok to ask for help once in a while. Being restricted is something that one can’t change, so make your life easier by asking for help if it’s needed. Communicating what you really need or how it needs to be done would also be a big help to the people around you and yourself.
A disability doesn’t change who you are as a person
It also shouldn’t change how world sees you. “You have to come to terms that how these people look at you, starts from you,” Kelvin shares. His greatest fear was how society would view him. “You have…to behave yourself, carry yourself appropriately…When you learn how to respect yourself, people will learn how to respect you.”
Kelvin has also challenged himself and what is possible. One of his biggest projects was when he swapped the contents of one room, well-furnished and shelves stacked with books, to another room on his own. He managed to stack books and items that were on tall shelves with no one around to assist him. His neighbours couldn’t believe it and half expected him to admit he was lying about his disability. “Things can be done, you have to think how to get it done,” he shares.
“Focus on what you have and what you can do…If you continue to focus on the negativity the answers will be negative. Don’t ask questions, ‘why me? Why I can’t do this?’ Yes, it is a fact and this fact will not change.”
Staying positive is key in Kelvin’s life and he advice people with disabilities to do the same. “You keep your positivity, you keep thinking of how am I going to get this done…What do I have that will enable me to help me get this thing done.” He adds, “Only by doing this, you are living life… You are not living in your history of what got you on a wheelchair, what got you your disability. Forget about it, don’t live in the past, move forward.”
Share this post with someone who needs a boost and can benefit from Kelvin’s positivity.